Mice cream

Ingredients:
A few fat mice
A hunk of salt pork or sowbelly
A bottle of industrial-strength vodka
3 oz Grand Marnier
A few cloves
half a pound of all purpose flour
Salt and pepper

Skin, eviscerate, and wash the mice but leave the heads on. If you don't like the reproachful look in their eyes, tie an old sock over their faces.
Marinate in vodka for two hours (the mice, not you)
While you wait, dice the pork belly and render the fat by cooking slowly for several hours.
Drain the mice (careful, vodka is flammable.)
Dredge them throughly in the flour, seasoned well with salt and pepper.
Saute in the pork fat for five minutes.
Add 1/2 cup vodka, the Grand Marnier, and a pinch of cloves.
Simmer covered for 15 minutes.
Prepare a Bechamel cream sauce (look for it in an old cookbook) and transfer the hot, succulent, and orangey mice into it.
Warm for about 10 mins.
Serve.

Spider side salad

In addition to tarantulas, you should include spiders of as many different kinds as you can find, depending on where you live. Don't go anywhere near the poisonous ones, obviously.

1. Steam your spiders live, like crab, to maintain crispness.
2. Amputate the legs from larger specimens, and quarter them.
3. Make a bed of romaine lettuce, parsley, chopped portobello mushrooms, radishes, and scallions. Toss in a cut of chopped spiders and a generous squirt of extra-virgin olive oil, vinegar, lemon juice, and fresh ground pepper. Sliced jalapeno chili pepper adds an extra kick. (since you won't get one from the spider legs)

Enjoy!